Dear DC, what is up with the constant sirens?

I’m coming up on my nine month anniversary living in DC, I think that’s the pewter anniversary (boo, bad joke).  I do love me this city, however, I have one gripe that just needs to be addressed, and if possible, stopped.  Sirens.

Most of the day, all the day, every 30 seconds, downtown, uptown, out-of-town, it’s incredible and constant.  It is an annoying sound that hurts my delicate ears.  It means disaster every time, it’s not always a dumb cat in a tree.  It’s so much a part of the background here that it is on the verge of being white noise, but it is so incredibly obnoxious it could never be.

I almost have a small heart attack, which would be ironic since I’d need an ambulance in this case,  every time they zoom past me or jolt me from my bed.

Without fail, each time I make a phone call the sirens go off and my poor Grandma hears the terrible wail of tragedy in the background.  Could I wait to get home to call?  Of course, but I live outside a fire station.  No escape.

I always know when it’s a full moon in DC.  The sirens are exponentially increased.  Is it werewolves?  I don’t know, but here are my solutions to the problem:

  • People need to stop getting arrested, and it doesn’t mean for them not to get caught, it means no more stealing, murdering, attacking, etc
  • People need to take better care of themselves so there are less preventable maladies (also a good excuse for healthy America, not just for our ears when the sirens make me go crazy, another preventable illness of the mental persuasion)
  • People need to stop burning Poptarts and attempting Baked Alaskas so the fires can ease up, because I think these sirens are the MOST annoying–although, the DC firemen are not too shabby, I was thinking of setting fire to my place to get them here…I already flooded the apartment, perhaps not the best idea (no worries, roomie!)

While I’m complaining about noise, and more sirens are going off as I write this, I am going to whine about crappy music blaring from cars.  Seriously, dudes and dudettes, not everyone likes your weird techno-rap-salsa hybrids.  Really, I think it’s just you, so turn it down or get some taste.

Ok, I’m done with my winge.  Beautiful weather we got here!  If only we could make the soundtrack a bit better…

P.S. One time I was walking home, and for some reason there was a police chase and I watched the police car drive right into a house.  Noisy and destructive.  Tsk tsk.

P.P.S. Since I started writing this post, the sirens have been constant.  How’s a girl supposed to sleep with her window open?  Although, I just looked out the window and realized my buildings surrounded.  Awkward, should I be getting outta here?  I love a coincidence.

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