Realization: It’s time to live alone

I have lived with many, many, many kinds of people. Most who sucked. From roommate number one in college, the hypochondriac, pathological liar that occasionally liked to go through and/or steal my items and also took great pride in never moving her ass from the room, not even to eat or shower, to an Australian, bulimic nutcase who was such a packrat that when she couldn’t find anything, she assumed it was one of us who had stolen her horrific tokens. In all this, I’d say I’m pretty lucky with the roommate I have. Of course, she does occasionally drive me batty–it’s inevitable–but mostly we live in peace and cooperation. We have a great apartment, the rent is fair, and most importantly, I have a walk-in closet.

In saying this, there are some downsides to the current situation, two of which have pushed me to the edge which will follow shortly (oh, suspense).

Normal downsides of sharing territory:

  • Bathroom coordinating
  • Kitchen coordinating
  • TV coordinating
  • Cleaning coordinating

Upsides:

  • Cleaning – someone else has to do it too!
  • Forgetting keys is not a problem if the roomie is home (or if you’re too drunk to get in the house)
  • Confidant, always someone to talk with
  • Sometimes roommates make brownies that you can eat 🙂
  • Sharing costs
  • Sharing the awesome couch!!!

Specific downsides:

  • Rules, especially when you are renting from the owner
  • Rule 1, no boys over and I think this encompasses boyfriends, brothers, cousins, and dads
  • Uncomfortableness when friends are over
  • Not having the place to yourself so you can break rules
  • Pretending to be nice when you just want to be bitchy because your roommate is just there, existing, and if you run up to your room, you’ll seem mean
  • I like my house cold, she doesn’t as much
  • Her crap is EVERYWHERE

I’m getting to the kickers now. I do like my living situation, but for a while I’ve realized that I want some freedom in my home. Freedom to have people over and not feel like it’s a burden or that they are unwelcome. Freedom to have ten of my closest friends couch crash and not worry that it’s an inconvenience to anyone. But aside from that…

Kicker #1:

Roommate wants a dog.

Who doesn’t love dogs? They wag tails and love you know matter how many times you mock their unfaltering adoration. But they are work. And it’s a two person job. So even if my roommate says, “You don’t have to do anything.” If I come home first, the dog needs to go out and will cry and cry and cry until it goes out. If I want to just watch TV, the dog will cry and cry and cry until I feed it or let it crawl on my lap. (Ok, the lap is really cute.) But if she comes home later or wants to go away for the weekend, it falls on yours truly. I’m there, why not? Because I want not. I want alone time, with or without a pet. I want to wake up and go running and not have a dog follow me around while I feel my groggy way to my coffee. Plus, I might just fall in love and when I have to leave, that’s sad.

Kicker #2

“My mom is coming for over 2 months.” (Telling me two weeks before.)

Ok, my apartment isn’t too big or too small, it’s just right for TWO people. But one who doesn’t speak English and stays in the house all the day? That’s uncomfortable. Plus, now I’m fighting for bathroom and kitchen and space with another human of adult size, whilst tripping over the dog that won’t stop barking. Two months of my own mother (no offense, ma) is too much. Especially in such close quarters.

So, the straw broken the camel’s back, I’m hunting for a place of my own. A place where I will be free to have Downton Abbey theme parties and have Monopoly marathons. Where I can walk around in as much or as little clothing as I deem fit and where the only fight for the bathroom, is an internal one in which I know I alone am responsible for cleaning it.

I’m an adult with a salary (be it small) and health benefits. It’s time.

Craigslist, here I come.

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