When it all looks good, it’s actually past its expiration date

I woke up at 5am with a spring in my step. I’m awake! But it’s 5, ugh, but, hey, early bird catches the gross morning breakfast…let’s do some work and then a run! That’s when my Monday started to degenerate.

The run, at its best moment, was tiring. Running is uncomfortable for most people over the age of 6, but as a crazy person who loves running and even smiles a little through the 6 – 8 miles despite fatigue, I felt the pain of my peers. I pondered cutting it short, but by then I had to come back and it was the same distance.

Next was the get to work early but forgot my fob. So I sat in the hallway for a while till someone else could let me in.

Then it was the, “why didn’t I return this in Israel?” moment in which I realized I should’ve returned something when I was in Israel and not in America.

The intern had been sitting at my desk. ‘Nuf said.

My eager, anxious waiting for the apartment was worrying. Still no word from her promises. I felt like it was after a first date and the guy just didn’t call or text. Is it me? Did something happen? Did someone better come along?

Me today. A little less precious, perhaps.

My pregnant boss was bitchy pregnant. People with babies inside them are grumpy.

I submitted a credit application for a unit to a shady website for which I was like, “fuuuuck.” So I cancelled my credit card, called the social security office, called the credit fraud alerts, just in case. I don’t know if it was bad, but my jet lag (my excuse) made me too wary to judge what I was doing.

Phoned dream apartment lady. Phone was off. Is she ignoring me? Left a voicemail. Got an email. She raised the rent $200. $1450 for a studio? No way. I wrote her back my price limit. She wrote back a compromise and if no one takes it she’ll give it to me. All my dreams of decorating, all my Downton Abbey parties, everything, gone because she had to go ask other people’s opinion on rent costs. Frowny face.

After the disappointment, I got a little hungry so had a fruit smoothie, which was the best part of the day, and had a running stream of consciousness that was projected aloud to the innocent intern, who was quite amused, and anyone else who had ears to listen.

I think I made someone elses day a little less nice too because I found an apple in the fridge and ate it and I’m not sure if it was mine or not, but it tasted yummy. Maybe better because it was forbidden fruit. I still have a little Eve in me, yet.

At the end of the day I went to look at another apartment. I went to the wrong address. 20 minutes later the landlady asked me where I was, I said, “in the lobby.” So was she, just not in the same one. Luckily I was just across the street.

The apartment is the right price, great location, balcony, but tiny tiny tiny. And not enough closet space unless I keep clothes on the balcony which is bigger than the kitchen. But it does have character. Where there is character, I’m sure to find a home.

Yesterday I was filled with such happiness that I felt like I had fields of sunflowers inside me, bursting with garish beauty and salty snack. Now I feel like a daisy after a hail storm. Whenever it all goes right, it seems to go horribly wrong only moments later. Melodramatic? Surely, but I know no other way.

Perhaps I’ll jinx it, or there is still a sunflower inside looking for the light, but I think things will work out. It’s just a feeling. But I’d greatly appreciate life working out my way in my time frame. I don’t think it is such a difficult request but life forces seem to think so.

Whining session ended now and wining session beginning.


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