Adulthood, I’ve arrived–ish

Kudos to Hyperbole and a Half for articulating this artistically

Every few months or so, I think I’ve finally made it. I think I passed the hump into adulthood and wisdom. And every few months I believe it for a couple of days, waltzing about with my chest pumped full of proud oxygen,  my nose held high against the younger, dumber self I am no longer.

Eventually it’s time to exhale, and with a head stuck too far in the air, tripping is inevitable.

But…I can say with some sort of confidence, at 27 and a half years of age, I am finally growing out of that awkward, adolescent phase.

I utter this declaration as, for the past months noticeably absent from blogging due to acting all adult-like and whatnot, I have milestones I can chart as steps to the elusive goal of sophistication and maturity.

First Milestone: The Dentist

I always hated the dentist. Really abhored the satanic, teeth polishing fiends. As a child, I was known to run out of the dentist’s chair screaming, red hair flailing about madly, foaming at the mouth from fluoride treatments. Bribes were given to me from weary parents to get me to behave, but not even the lure of an Ace of Base cassette tape could calm my jitters. Even after 2 years with the orthodontist, for which I was strangely behaved for, I never grew accustomed to the scraping of teeth or the tube that sucks the water, saliva, and soul from your twisted mouth. I never even had a cavity, I just hated it.

But after 4 years of not going…I thought, “I have health insurance now. I should probably go…” That alone was impressive. Next was researching dentists in DC and hoping they wouldn’t make my gums bleed and cry.

Intuition and location took me to a dentist located not far off from my place of employment. I made it very clear on the phone that I was not very well-behaved at the dentist and that I was very scared, almost hoping they would consider me a lost cause and tell me to never go to any dentist. The receptionist was kind, what a bitch, and got me an appointment within a week.

But then something amazing happened. I loved the dentist! The dentist was so gentle and kind–and super quirky. She explained everything to me about teeth, my teeth especially, and a whole new world was opened up to me. And even better, I got to go back to the dentist two more times because I had five cavities!

And it didn’t even hurt. At least not the procedure, the cost insurance didn’t cover did not feel nice.

Remember to floss…

Second Milestone: Broke

I’ve been known to go shopping from time to time. A pair of shoes here, a new skirt or ten here, and eventually those beautiful,  somewhat superfluous items make a dent. Especially when bills are due, rent is due, and all the grocery money went to cocktails.

For only the second time in my life did my bank account get low enough that the ATM told me that it wouldn’t give me any more cash until I fed it.

Aside from the fact that I don’t make quite a six-figure salary working at a nonprofit (gasp, shock!) I get paid once a month rather than the conventional bimonthly payments I covet of my friends. It means that when it’s empty, it’s empty till the 30th.

So what have I done since the first week in September to make me last till September 30? I’ve become insanely creative cooking with whatever is in the cupboards. Tuna, you do me no wrong.

I cashed in my credit card points I’ve been accruing for ages and was able to pay off a small bill. I even went to the bank to get a routing number–that’s comparable to a triple score point in Scrabble for mature adult behavior.

Now the harsh reality is, I won’t have a sufficient cushion to fall back on until end of October or November. Just in time for Christmas. Maybe this is more of a money lesson for January 2013…

Milestone 3: Work

Lately, I’ve been left fairly independent in my office during the busiest time for our organization. With one colleague working from home and the other on leave, I use this opportunity to title myself Executive Director and make my three interns call me Miss Boss Lady when they fill my coffee cup.

In all seriousness, I have had to and have happily stepped it up in my work. I take a lot of pride in doing a good job and hopefully after the long hours that have kept me so many nights away from blogging, it will all have truly paid off and then I can really gush about it. For now, I will reign as Executive Director on most days, and take my coffee with two creams and one sugar.

Milestone 4: Status

This is me being the person I never thought I’d be but am going to be anyway.

I entered into one of those really irritating, adorable Facebook relationships with a guy. And not just a random guy–a boyfriend, with cooties and all (had my shot in 3rd grade, no worries). I never thought I’d be that person, but I am, and I’m kinda super OK with it.

This may make me a tween rather than an adult…

Next Milestone: Residency Change

Since I have my own place and have been living in DC going on two years, probably time to get my residency changed to District of Columbia. I just have to get there on a good hair day.

Now onto the next few months!


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