Relationship test – 5 straight days with the BF

The relationship test: spending an exorbitant amount of time with a significant other.

The ultimate relationship test: spending an exorbitant amount of time with a significant other and each other’s families.

The aim is to endure all this while maintaining a semblance of sanity and affection for one another. If successful, the relationship is solid. If not, there is a desperate need for some damage control.

From Tuesday evening till Monday morning, the boyfriend and I will be inseparable, somewhat by choice. He and I are going to be spending our first holiday together (awwww……yack).

We compromised (I had to learn this word because although I should get my way most of the time, it’s not fair to get my way all the time) we will spend half the time with his parents in a tiny, tiny village in upstate New York and half the time in a tiny town in Pennsylvania with my gaggle of a family.

The strategy:

Tuesday evening – boyfriend returns from a work trip at a nuclear peach plant in Georgia and meets Emily in DC for a debrief session before the Wednesday morning departure.

Wednesday morning – boyfriend and Emily stop at boy’s apartment where Emily plays with Pancake (the cat) till boyfriend is packed and ready to go.

Wednesday day – road trip!!! Or, rather, super long drive to stranded area in upstate New York—near a Yeti.

Wednesday evening – meet the mother of the boy. Dun dun duuuuuuuuun!

Thursday – Eat turkey and miss eating my mom’s mashed potatoes and stuffing–her specialties.

Friday morning – to my house! Road trip back to civilization!

Friday day – cut down and decorate tree. Boyfriend was a lumberjack and has been recruited for chopping portion. Decorating skills still under analysis.

Saturday – party of yet to be determined amount of guests.

Sunday – exchange a few early gifts with my brother visiting from the west coast, or the stupid coast, as I call it.

Sunday evening – depart on good terms? Return to DC for one last evening together–rather, one one last evening in that sequence (hopefully).

It seems simple and straight-forward enough. However, here are some things I neglected to tell the boy…

From Friday till Sunday, the following people will be living in my childhood home:

  1. Brother
  2. Sister-in-law
  3. Their kid (a big baby)
  4. Sister
  5. Brother-in-law
  6. Their 3 redheaded kids.
  7. Mom
  8. Dad
  9. Me
  10. Boy
  11. 2 dogs

That is a grand total of 12 people and two pets. This is about the population of my boyfriend’s hometown.

We have 3 bathrooms, one which has shower capabilities, and 4 bedrooms plus an attic. Last time I was home there was no bed in my room. We will probably play family games which inevitably will end in tears and screams if Monopoly is involved. All of the children are under the age of 6 and half of them are still not potty-trained. The oldest one, a girl, misses some of the time. The party will more than likely include a majority of my nine uncles and nine aunts, a portion of my 18 cousins (who also have significant others and kids), and many of the townspeople and friends in the area for the holidays.

It’s a lot to handle and my family are quite gregarious people. If all goes swimmingly and I don’t fight with my big brother or piss off my mom by asking if I look fat, it will still be an overwhelming experience. Add to that, there is the risk that he and I just will get tired of each other at some point and there is nowhere to escape to…

Where is that Yeti…

Sister, neice #2, me, and boyfriend.

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