I hate boxing but I am a supporter of Boxing Day

Last week, my work hosted a company outing to a boxing class. There were fifteen of us in attendance and we were all excited to punch some bags and maybe one another.

The teacher was an actual boxer of sorts and also quite handsome—giggle. But after he showed us hot to wrap up our hands and put on our gloves, disdain for the dreamy boxing coach replaced all affection.

What us employees thought would be a nice, easy intro class and a break from the daily grind was an hour of hell. We started with 5 minutes of continuous jumping jacks. I haven’t done jumping jacks since elementary school gym class and never exceeded a quantity of 20 at any one time. 5 minutes of jumping jacks is not fun. Try it.

Next, we punched the bag…for what seemed like for-ev-er. I can only punch something for so long before I’m bored and tired. I was both. But nothing prepared me for the boot camp we endured next. 2 minutes of push-ups, 2 minutes of full sit-ups, crunches in all the weirdest ways possible for 2 minutes each, these jump-up-in-the-air-then-fall-into-push-ups-on-the-ground things, contort your body and hold it and crunch it and curl it for 3 minutes, jump and turn squats for 2 minutes, and then more things I have no idea what they were or what they looked like (I had to take off my glasses because they kept falling off my face, so I guessed half the time at what we were doing—if it was painful, I knew I was doing it right.)

funny-boxing-old-men-boxesOn top of that, he was kinda mean. When forms faltered and fatigued plastered us to the floor, he yelled. More than once I hid from his line of sight behind a punching bag. He knew.

For a normal class with regular attendees, it’s a great workout and willing participants know what they are getting themselves into. More power to them. But we were there to have fun and take a break from the 9-5. Fifteen minutes in, we wanted to go back to work, that’s how un-fun it was.

It made me think, though. Boxing is challenging and involves a lot of training and torture, in addition to getting hit in the head repeatedly. But this guy did it competitively and trained probably 100 times harder than he attempted to train us undisciplined pupils. I’m a highly motivated and highly competitive person and I found myself slacking off whenever possible because I was that miserable through this process.

I can only deduce that he enjoys boxing and that he is quite insane. To go through the training and then voluntarily have someone jab their fist in your face; he should probably be committed.

To be fair, the logic as to why this dude is insistent on putting his body through such physical wear and tear is that he has a passion for the sport and I can relate to that on some realm. Not that I am at a totally equivocal level, but ballet is my boxing. I work very hard and push myself as much as I can because of how much I love it.  It doesn’t feel like workout, even if I’m drenched in sweat and slathering IcyHot all over my legs post class. Perhaps the evil boxing teacher feels the same way as he does 20 minutes of push-ups and repeatedly beats a helpless bag dangling from a ceiling.

I attempted boxing and really, really disliked it but I at least tried it and I support crazy people who wish to partake. I’m happy, however, to participate in the push for a more widely recognized Boxing Day in America, as so many companies attempt to make employees work the day after Christmas. That is not cool.

Sidenote, by the end of our punching sessions, the face of the teacher was firmly visualized on the front of my bag. It was the best punching I did that day.


One thought on “I hate boxing but I am a supporter of Boxing Day

  1. “jump-up-in-the-air-then-fall-into-push-ups-on-the-ground things” – Burpees, the greatest thing ever, beacuse why do squats and pushups when you can have both at the same time?
    Seriously though, i don’t think the trainer was “evil”, boxing and combat sports in general are all about pushing your own limits to the edge and trainers are there to help you get through, even if they have to be coarse to do it. I can totally see how the first class can be a complete kick in the nuts (figuratively) to a first timer, it was for me too (literally), but if you decide to give it a couple more attempts i’m sure you’ll find the beauty in it. Also, i’ve never tried ballet, but i’ve heard it involves some very painful excercises.

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