So now that my boyfriend and I went from serious to SERIOUS, I’ve had to come to terms with something: I can’t always be right (even if I am).
This was made evident to me last night when my loving beau called me on the phone to discuss something as trivial as plates as an investment. Not just any plates, special occasion plates.
My first reaction, who is this man and what has he done with my boyfriend? Second, and I mean no offense, is my boyfriend closeted? In my life, I have never heard of a man caring about nice chinaware and certainly not fighting for it as an emotional investment.
The boyfriend wasn’t just thinking about a nice set of plates from Target or even Bed, Bath, and Beyond. He actually brought up the name Lenox. Not only did he want pretty plates and teacups, he wanted expensive plates and tea cups with a reputation. Who the hell was this guy? Half the time he stands up to eat his dinner!
When he told me how much a set was, I was like, “So how many is in a set?” He said ONE of everything. I realize I’m not opposed to owning frivolous items, but one plate, one teacup, one saucer (who even uses these outside of the UK?), and maybe another mid-sized plate for $140 to $200? Plus, they’re breakable and it’s me! They will break.
I countered that I’d rather have a nice camera to take pictures of our new baby and to maybe jumpstart a hobby for the price of the stupid china. I’d prefer saving that money for something more practical, like a contribution for a down payment on a house. Why we would want plates that are that expensive and we will use maybe, maybe, once a year?
He further explained that he wanted me to choose a set, that he wanted to choose a set, and that he wanted our baby boy (as yet unborn and clearly unable to hold a teacup for at least a few months before he tosses it to the ground in amusement) to have a set. Now we have nice, expensive china that doesn’t even match and of which there isn’t enough to entertain at our special dinners when President Obama visits with Michelle. Plus, he wants our infant BOY son to have his own set when all he will do for the first few years of life is eat, poop, puke, and cry?
The boyfriend and I don’t argue so much, or at least I should say, he doesn’t usually argue back.
It took some talking, but finally, I realized that this was important to him, he actually wanted this. No matter what my thoughts were on the matter, this was something that did hold meaning to him and I know if it was me pushing for something superfluous, he probably wouldn’t even offer resistance because he already understands me and my heart, or at least understands he doesn’t understand.
So I accepted defeat.
He plans on beginning a tradition of bringing out our mismatched, very elegant dining wear for special events, like an anniversary, a birthday, a holiday, and he wants to give our to-be-born son his set one day, when he will appreciate it. I guess if we ever have more children (one at a time, people) we’ll continue the tradition of a set of chinaware for every member of our wacky little family.
After I came around to the idea and understood that it’s really not even that much of a sacrifice, I realized that it’s not just my needs that need satisfied, it’s that guy I’m involved with and the other one still cooking inside. I’m so used to being in charge of my life, making my own decisions, and manipulating things to go my way (and I sure liked it!). Now, I have to compromise and prioritize. It’s like I’ve become an adult or something. Gross.
Even though I anticipate winning most arguments when they arise because I have active tear ducts, I’m learning to let my pride fall and my selfishness give way.
I raise my teacup, “Here’s to expensive plates and a softer side of my other half!”